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America, Autocorrect, and Back to Back: Operator: 911What's your emergencyp Responder: My wifes goinginto labor, I don't know what to do. Operator: Is this herfirstborn? Responder: Noths is her husband. We'll be walking around a supermarket or wherever, and he will stop, staring at the watermelon with a look of respect, put his hand on my shoulder and say: "what-a-melon!" 10:43 ICE YOUR BREATHS EXPAND FRIEND Text 4:19 PM 64% K Messages (6) Daddy Contact We just ate Ok so you can be here at How does the turkey I guess through its beak Send Q W E R T Y U I O P A S D F G H J K L Share on Facebook Like zofia-and-sloths listenley tayngerous: A woman is at her father's deathbed. She hasn't seen him in years and now they only have a few moments left. "Dad, I'm sorry," she whispers. "Goodbye, Sorry," he says, "I'm dead 20.3k Guess what Forrest Gump's password is? Son Ugh stop, Dad Okay I'll tell ya. It's 1 forrest Dad lobes Wall of Shame howtobeladad.com SAD consultingtimetravelingdetective Source: dingle-dangle deathbycas: dingle-dangle: A proud new dad sits down to have adrink with his father "Well son, now that you've got a kid of your own, l think it's time to give you this Dad, you don't mean "Yes son, l do" Dad pulls out copy of 1001 Dad Jokes, 5th Edition" Dad I'm honoured...", he says, tears sparkling in his eyes. Hi honoured", replies his father. "I'm dad". 34,229 notes Dad Edit Messages Don't come home me and your mom are getting it on tonight HAHAHA gotta hate autocorrect, right? What do you mean You made a typo right look at your last text No l did not make a typo Guess what time the man went to the dentist? Tooth hurt -y. Dad lobes Wall of Shame howtobeladad.com SAD SON, UR 2 NOW OLD ENUFF FOR THE TALK IM DROWNIN IN IT WRITTEN BY GO TORMNY PICKEALS SEE, SEX IS A LOT LIKE A OCEAN LOL NOW PUT UR HAND uP THIS IS CALLED A HIGH FIVE DRAWN BY VECTORBELLY Dad hurt his wrist and had to go to the hospital where he talked to a doctor. Dad: When this heals will I be able to play the piano? Doctor: Yes, You'll be fine in a few days. Dad: Perfect, I've always wanted to be able to play an instrument. 2:17 PM 82% OO AT&T LTE Contact Messages Today 12:50 PM Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie Today 2:10 PM Ur sick I thought it was a Gouda joke to rethink I am telling the Yes Don't make me out to be some kind of muenster! Delivered On a walk today with my family. We get onto the game what would you do? ask what would you do If fell down a cliff. My sister says call him an ambulance. My dad's reply, "how would that help, he's down a cliff dieing, and I'm shouting, LUCAS YOUR AN AMBULANCE" My dad ladies and gentlemen Shhh Don't skin me like that WHY ALL THESE POTATO PUNS? You could say It's because Potato puns are.. Apeeling. Dad: What do you want for your birthday? Son want a remote control car dad Dad: Say no more son AT&T LTE 8:54 PM News Feed Status o Photo Check In LE News Feed Chris R minutes ago Mie: How much snow is there? Dad: Well it's not really snow, it's more like Snew. Me: Snew? Whats snew? Dad: Not much what's snew with you? can't believe that just happened. 5 Likes Like comment Share So I'm Watching the Incredibles with the family and this happened Syndrome "And when everyone is super, no one will be." My Dad "Who is no one and why does he get to be super." My Dad Bursts out laughing Everone else REALLY! Dad X Messages Edit Hey dad do u belive in ghosts?? No son, there is no such things as ghosts. But our maid said that ghost were real Pack your bags Meet me in he car now Y WE DONT HAVE A MAID NED.com Send smart How did Anakin know what gift Obi-Wan was going to give him? He felt his presents. Dad fokes Wall of Shame hortobeadad.com SAO jungwildeandfree: thisismedisa ear in l stubbed my toe and naturally l screamed "mOTHERFUCKER'' and then my dad poked his head out of the livingroom and said "you rang?" hats off for the ultimate dad joke 87 792 notes What did the beach say to the other beach? Oh my god what now? Nothing they just waved Oh. Did you see what i did there? No. Im shore you did. How do you have friends? Don't be such a beach. My kid said to me "Dad,What's ET Short for OTO Whichi replied. because he's got little legs. WHAT DID THE HAT SAY TO THE HAT RACK? YOU STAY HERE ITM GOING TO GO ON AHEAD DRACULA DOESNT HAVE MANY FRIENDS BECAUSE HES A PAIN IN THE NECK MISS THE OLD TELEPHONES THEY WERE KINKY TURNING POINT By ANDYMAN1943 What's that wheel on your belt? WWW.TOONDOO.COM Arrr, it's driving me nuts! WOULD YOU LIKE SOMECHEESE WITH THAT WHINEP "Son, did you hear about that actress who was killed recently...Reese Withers...Wither-something." Son: Witherspoon?" Dad: "No, with a knife. Dad Joke Han Solo adadiokohansolo 13h What is a bounty hunter's favorite cheese? Boba Feta I'm sorry @KyloR3n was that joke to #cheesy for you!? Haha! I WOULD TELL A JOKE ABOUT PIZZA, BUT IT'S A LITTLE CHEESV. CHEERS TO LEGENDARV Heineken THEVD BE BRD IF THEW LUERENT DAD'S CHEERS TO LEGENDARV #DAD JOKES THEV D BE BAD IF THEW WEREn T DAD'S Heineken open your world DAD, Text Did you notice the big leek in the bathroom when you left? 1:03p No 2:11p type a text message 2:51 2:06p DAD JOKES top Aop What are you doing? I'm measuring your patience illustrations eswatercolour ~joke u/Oreosmooshy My dad came back from a business trip in America: ME: So, what's it like in San Francisco? DAD: A lot like Ireland, though everyone wears short-sleeved tops. ME: Why, is it really hot there? DAD: No, Americans wear short sleeves for constitutional reasons. ME: What DAD: Because the second amendment states that all Americans have the right to BARE ARMS!!! laughs uncontrollably tickld IIMTERRIFIEDOFELENATORS 'LL BETAKING STEPS TO AVOID THEM Dad Jokes t by shitty Watercolour You know son, I couldnt find a single shoe shop in town today... They all seemed to sell them in Pairs! Joke by uirandomsnark HAVE YOU MET MY KIOP HE HAS MY EYES! I NEED THEM BACK Why is water the most hipster element? Earth, Because i and Fir fore they In were famou 2:23 PM Verizon 3G Dad Edit Messages Dad, my computer can't find the WiFi printer anymore I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password Why Bob Marley? Because its always Jammin God damn it. Send WHYDIDNTTHE SHRIMP SHAREHISTREASURELUKE DARTHPLEASE THIS ISAVERY SERIOUS- BECAUSE HEWASALITTLESHELLFISH CHECK IT OUT, I'M THE FIRST PERSON EVER TO CLONE MYSELF! THAT'S AMAZING I BET I'M BESIDE MYSELF! YOU'RE PRETTY EXCITED! YOU DID THIS JUST TO MAKE THAT JOKE DIDN'T YOU BEST TWELVE BILLION DOLLARS I EVER SPENT Cyanide and Happiness O Explosm.net a 90% D 10:41 AM Verizon jenna m1213 PHOTO DeC 26, 20172 Dad there's a moth on the outside of the bathroom door can you get rid of it? Pls hurry because I'm going to cry Dad Dad Dec 26, 2012 2:30 PM Dad is dead. You're next. Love, Moth 19 likes jenna ma 1213 This was my sisters text message to my dad and my dad is frekin weird This is my dad His name is Cliff. DANGEROUS CLIFF STAY BACK Dad Hey kids, a train just passed by" Me and my siblings: How do you know?" Dad: It left its tracks It was funny the first time when I was 9. Now it's funny because it's dad humor "Dad, I'm hungry." "Hello Hungry, I'm dad." Dad, I'm serious." "I thought you were Hungry?" You're kidding me." "No, I'm dad." Me: Dad where are we? Dad: In the car. ITEM DIDN'T SCAN? TELL ME AGAIN HOW YOU THINKIT SHOULD IBF FRE enue memecenter-Com WITHOUT NIPPLES BOOBS WOULD BE POINTLESS ITS HARD TO ENPLAIN PUNS TO KLEPTOMANIACS THEY ALWAYS TAKE THINGS Dad Joke Han Solo Follow Odladjokehansolo What kind of car does a Jedi drive? A Toy-YODA! Ben are you old enough to drive l don't remember 110 207 11:33 PM 13 Jan 2016 HOW'S THE WATER? WET. CHEERS TO LEGENDARV #DAD JOKES THEV'D BE BAD IF THEV WEREn'T DAD'S Holland Imported by HeinekenUSAInc, .a York, NYe2013Heineken Lager Beer Heineken open your world WHAT IS BEETHOVEN'S FAVORITE FRUIT? BA-NA-NA-NA- A SHEEP, A DRUMANDASNAKE FALL DOWN A CLIFF BA-DUMM-TSS I WAS ADDICTED TO THE HOKEY POKEY BUT I TURNED MYSELF AROUND M ign com f HOW DO YOU SPOT THE BLIND GUY ATA NUDIST COLONY ITS NOT HARD CAn Vou GIUE ME A HAND? SURE, BUT I NEED IT BACK WHEN VOU'RE DOME. CHEERS TO LEGENDARV #DADJOKES WANTED TO BUYCAMOUFLAGE PANTS BUTICOULDNTFINDANY A three-legged dog walks into a bar Guess what he said to the bartender? Son Stop, Dad "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." HOW'S YOUR JOBATTHE CALENDAR FACTORY GOING? IGOTAREDBECAUSEI TOOKACOUPLEOFDAYSoFF. When yo dad come back after 18 years saying "damn that line at Walmart was no joke" dope trvp WITH UELORO. IT'S A TOTAL RIP-OFF. CHEERS TO LEGEnDARV #DADJOKES MYGIRLFRIENDANDIWATCHEDEVERY HARRY POTTERMOVIE BACK TO BACK LUCKILY I WAS THE ONE FACING THE TV TO THE GUY WHO INVENTED TERO ZERO THANKS FOR NOTHING AT&T 3G 9:30 AM Dad Edit Messages Gas is 3.69 out here ...premium is even more Enough With the Saab story Damnit that's goo Send Ive started working as a porn writer but its harder than expected There just so many holes in the plot. WHY DID THE COWBOYGOTO CHURCH HETHOUGHT ITWASASTEAK CENTER Son Dad, are you alright? No. I'm half left. Dad lobes Wall of Shame howtobeladad.com SAD Hey Dad can I work a half-day today Me working for my dads company Half of a day is 12 hours Sure you can but *Troll DadBoss* problem? HOW DOES MOSES MAKE COFFEE? Hebrews it. quickmeme.com What do you call the fear of being trapped in a chimney? CLAUStrophobia. Dad lobes Wall of Shame howtobeadad.com I KNOWITSCHEESY BUT I FEEL GRATE LIHowdoylu Lind Will Smithin the snow- Look Lhe fresh prints Lu LA Son I Have A Joke For u Tell Me I Know You Dont I Dont Get It forev Pussy I Dont Get It FFUU UU U memecenter.com MameCenuera AN ADVIENTURED ALPACA MY BAGS What veggie do star athletes eat to run fast? Accelery ada djks What's the difference between a piano a tuna and glue? Son: What? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna Son: What about the glue? I knew you'd get stuck there. Dad lobes Wall of Shame howtobeladad.com SAD JOKEDTOSTATICALLYCHARGED 8-YEAR-OLD THAT SHELL NEED TO BE GROUNDED SPENT REST OF EVENING EXPLAININGIWASNT PUNISHING HER Guy Dangerous @Lerky Son: "Mom, Dad.. I'm gay" Mom: *staring at dad Dad: ...*clenches fists Mom: ...don't! Dad: *sweats profusely Mom: Dad: HI GAY, IM DAD MY FIRST TIME USING AN ELEVATOR WAS AN UPLIFTING EXPERIENCE THE SECOND TIME LET ME DOWN Server: Do you want a cup or a bowl? Dad: That's probably a good idea. Otherwise it will just go all over the table. 22 WORDS.COM Dads universally make unfunny jokes and have terrible humor, and I'm just sitting here $100% screaming/crying.
America, Autocorrect, and Back to Back: Operator: 911What's your emergencyp
 Responder: My wifes goinginto labor, I
 don't know what to do.
 Operator: Is this herfirstborn?
 Responder: Noths is her husband.

 We'll be walking around a supermarket or
 wherever, and he will stop, staring at the
 watermelon with a look of respect, put his hand
 on my shoulder and say: "what-a-melon!"

 10:43
 ICE
 YOUR
 BREATHS
 EXPAND
 FRIEND
 Text
 4:19 PM
 64%
 K Messages (6) Daddy
 Contact
 We just ate
 Ok so you can be here at
 How does the turkey
 I guess through its beak
 Send
 Q W E R T Y U
 I O P
 A S D F G H J K L
 Share on Facebook
 Like

 zofia-and-sloths
 listenley
 tayngerous:
 A woman is at her father's deathbed.
 She hasn't seen him in years and
 now they only have a few moments
 left.
 "Dad, I'm sorry," she whispers.
 "Goodbye, Sorry," he says, "I'm
 dead
 20.3k

 Guess what
 Forrest Gump's
 password is?
 Son Ugh stop, Dad
 Okay I'll
 tell ya.
 It's
 1 forrest
 Dad lobes Wall of Shame
 howtobeladad.com
 SAD

 consultingtimetravelingdetective
 Source: dingle-dangle
 deathbycas:
 dingle-dangle:
 A proud new dad sits down to have adrink with his father
 "Well son, now that you've got a kid of your own, l think it's time to
 give you this
 Dad, you don't mean
 "Yes son, l do" Dad pulls out copy of 1001 Dad Jokes, 5th Edition"
 Dad
 I'm honoured...", he says, tears sparkling in his eyes.
 Hi honoured", replies his father.
 "I'm dad".
 34,229 notes

 Dad
 Edit
 Messages
 Don't come home me and your
 mom are getting it on tonight
 HAHAHA gotta hate autocorrect,
 right?
 What do you mean
 You made a typo right look
 at your last text
 No l did not make a typo

 Guess what time
 the man went
 to the dentist?
 Tooth hurt -y.
 Dad lobes Wall of Shame
 howtobeladad.com
 SAD

 SON, UR 2 NOW
 OLD ENUFF FOR THE TALK
 IM DROWNIN IN IT
 WRITTEN BY GO TORMNY PICKEALS
 SEE, SEX IS A LOT
 LIKE A OCEAN
 LOL NOW PUT UR HAND uP
 THIS IS CALLED A HIGH FIVE
 DRAWN BY VECTORBELLY

 Dad hurt his wrist and had to go to the hospital where he talked to a doctor.
 Dad: When this heals will I be able to play the piano?
 Doctor: Yes, You'll be fine in a few days.
 Dad: Perfect, I've always wanted to be able to play an instrument.

 2:17 PM
 82%
 OO
 AT&T LTE
 Contact
 Messages
 Today 12:50 PM
 Did you hear about the
 cheese factory that
 exploded in France?
 There was nothing left but
 de Brie
 Today 2:10 PM
 Ur sick
 I thought it was a Gouda
 joke
 to rethink
 I am telling
 the Yes
 Don't make me out to be
 some kind of muenster!
 Delivered

 On a walk today with my family. We
 get onto the game what would you
 do? ask what would you do If fell
 down a cliff. My sister says call him
 an ambulance.
 My dad's reply, "how would that
 help, he's down a cliff dieing, and
 I'm shouting, LUCAS YOUR AN
 AMBULANCE"
 My dad ladies and gentlemen

 Shhh
 Don't skin me like that
 WHY ALL THESE POTATO
 PUNS?
 You could say
 It's because
 Potato puns are..
 Apeeling.

 Dad: What do you want for your birthday?
 Son
 want a remote control car dad
 Dad: Say no more son

 AT&T LTE
 8:54 PM
 News Feed
 Status
 o
 Photo
 Check In
 LE News Feed
 Chris R
 minutes ago
 Mie: How much snow is there?
 Dad: Well it's not really snow, it's more like
 Snew.
 Me: Snew? Whats snew?
 Dad: Not much what's snew with you?
 can't believe that just happened.
 5 Likes
 Like
 comment
 Share

 So I'm Watching the Incredibles with the family and this happened
 Syndrome "And when everyone is super, no one will be."
 My Dad "Who is no one and why does he get to be super."
 My Dad Bursts out laughing
 Everone else
 REALLY!

 Dad X
 Messages
 Edit
 Hey dad do u belive in ghosts??
 No son, there is no such things
 as ghosts.
 But our maid said that ghost
 were real
 Pack your bags
 Meet me in
 he car now
 Y
 WE DONT HAVE A MAID
 NED.com Send
 smart
 How did Anakin know what
 gift Obi-Wan was going
 to give him?
 He felt his
 presents.
 Dad fokes Wall of Shame
 hortobeadad.com SAO

 jungwildeandfree:
 thisismedisa
 ear in
 l stubbed my toe and naturally l
 screamed "mOTHERFUCKER'' and
 then my dad poked his head out of
 the livingroom and said "you
 rang?"
 hats off for the ultimate dad joke
 87 792 notes

 What did the beach say to
 the other beach?
 Oh my god what now?
 Nothing they just waved
 Oh.
 Did you see what i did
 there?
 No.
 Im shore you did.
 How do you have friends?
 Don't be such a beach.

 My kid said to me "Dad,What's ET
 Short for OTO Whichi replied.
 because he's got little legs.

 WHAT DID THE HAT SAY TO THE HAT RACK?
 YOU STAY HERE ITM GOING TO GO ON AHEAD

 DRACULA DOESNT HAVE MANY FRIENDS
 BECAUSE HES A
 PAIN IN THE NECK

 MISS THE OLD
 TELEPHONES
 THEY WERE KINKY

 TURNING POINT
 By ANDYMAN1943
 What's that wheel on your belt?
 WWW.TOONDOO.COM
 Arrr, it's driving me nuts!

 WOULD YOU LIKE SOMECHEESE
 WITH THAT WHINEP

 "Son, did you hear about that actress
 who was killed recently...Reese
 Withers...Wither-something."
 Son: Witherspoon?"
 Dad: "No, with a knife.

 Dad Joke Han Solo
 adadiokohansolo 13h
 What is a bounty hunter's favorite cheese?
 Boba Feta
 I'm sorry @KyloR3n was that joke to
 #cheesy for you!? Haha!

 I WOULD TELL A JOKE ABOUT
 PIZZA, BUT IT'S A LITTLE
 CHEESV.
 CHEERS TO LEGENDARV
 Heineken
 THEVD BE BRD IF THEW LUERENT DAD'S
 CHEERS TO LEGENDARV
 #DAD JOKES
 THEV D BE BAD IF THEW WEREn T DAD'S
 Heineken
 open your world

 DAD, Text
 Did you notice the big leek in
 the bathroom when you left?
 1:03p
 No
 2:11p
 type a text message
 2:51
 2:06p

 DAD JOKES
 top
 Aop
 What are you doing?
 I'm measuring
 your patience
 illustrations eswatercolour ~joke u/Oreosmooshy

 My dad came back from a business trip in
 America:
 ME: So, what's it like in San Francisco?
 DAD: A lot like Ireland, though everyone wears
 short-sleeved tops.
 ME: Why, is it really hot there?
 DAD: No, Americans wear short sleeves for
 constitutional reasons.
 ME: What
 DAD: Because the second amendment states
 that all Americans have the right to BARE
 ARMS!!! laughs uncontrollably
 tickld

 IIMTERRIFIEDOFELENATORS
 'LL BETAKING STEPS
 TO AVOID THEM

 Dad Jokes t
 by shitty Watercolour
 You know son, I couldnt
 find a single shoe shop
 in town today...
 They all seemed to
 sell them in Pairs!
 Joke by uirandomsnark

 HAVE YOU
 MET MY KIOP
 HE HAS
 MY EYES!
 I NEED
 THEM BACK

 Why is water the most
 hipster element?
 Earth,
 Because i
 and Fir
 fore they
 In
 were famou

 2:23 PM
 Verizon 3G
 Dad
 Edit
 Messages
 Dad, my computer can't
 find the WiFi printer
 anymore
 I renamed it to Bob
 Marley, same password
 Why Bob Marley?
 Because its always
 Jammin
 God damn it.
 Send

 WHYDIDNTTHE SHRIMP
 SHAREHISTREASURELUKE
 DARTHPLEASE THIS ISAVERY SERIOUS-
 BECAUSE HEWASALITTLESHELLFISH

 CHECK IT OUT, I'M THE FIRST
 PERSON EVER TO CLONE MYSELF!
 THAT'S AMAZING
 I BET
 I'M BESIDE MYSELF!
 YOU'RE PRETTY EXCITED!
 YOU DID THIS JUST TO MAKE
 THAT JOKE DIDN'T YOU
 BEST TWELVE BILLION
 DOLLARS I EVER SPENT
 Cyanide and Happiness O Explosm.net

 a 90% D
 10:41 AM
 Verizon
 jenna m1213
 PHOTO
 DeC 26, 20172
 Dad there's a moth on the
 outside of the bathroom
 door can you get rid of it?
 Pls hurry because I'm
 going to cry
 Dad
 Dad
 Dec 26, 2012 2:30 PM
 Dad is dead. You're next.
 Love, Moth
 19 likes
 jenna ma 1213 This was my sisters text
 message to my dad and my dad is frekin
 weird

 This is my dad
 His name is Cliff.
 DANGEROUS CLIFF
 STAY BACK

 Dad
 Hey kids, a train just passed by" Me and my siblings: How do you
 know?" Dad: It left its tracks
 It was funny the first time when I was 9. Now it's funny because it's dad
 humor

 "Dad, I'm hungry."
 "Hello Hungry, I'm dad."
 Dad, I'm serious."
 "I thought you were Hungry?"
 You're kidding me."
 "No, I'm dad."

 Me: Dad where are we?
 Dad: In the car.

 ITEM DIDN'T SCAN?
 TELL ME AGAIN HOW YOU
 THINKIT SHOULD IBF FRE
 enue
 memecenter-Com

 WITHOUT NIPPLES
 BOOBS WOULD BE POINTLESS

 ITS HARD TO ENPLAIN PUNS TO
 KLEPTOMANIACS
 THEY ALWAYS TAKE THINGS

 Dad Joke Han Solo
 Follow
 Odladjokehansolo
 What kind of car does a Jedi drive?
 A Toy-YODA!
 Ben are you old enough to drive l don't
 remember
 110
 207
 11:33 PM 13 Jan 2016

 HOW'S THE WATER?
 WET.
 CHEERS TO LEGENDARV
 #DAD JOKES
 THEV'D BE BAD IF THEV WEREn'T DAD'S
 Holland Imported by HeinekenUSAInc, .a
 York, NYe2013Heineken Lager Beer
 Heineken
 open your world

 WHAT IS BEETHOVEN'S
 FAVORITE FRUIT?
 BA-NA-NA-NA-

 A SHEEP, A DRUMANDASNAKE
 FALL DOWN A CLIFF
 BA-DUMM-TSS

 I WAS ADDICTED TO
 THE HOKEY POKEY
 BUT I TURNED
 MYSELF AROUND
 M ign com f

 HOW DO YOU SPOT THE BLIND
 GUY ATA NUDIST COLONY
 ITS NOT HARD

 CAn Vou GIUE ME A HAND?
 SURE, BUT I NEED IT BACK
 WHEN VOU'RE DOME.
 CHEERS TO LEGENDARV
 #DADJOKES

 WANTED TO BUYCAMOUFLAGE PANTS
 BUTICOULDNTFINDANY

 A three-legged dog walks
 into a bar
 Guess what he
 said to the bartender?
 Son Stop, Dad
 "I'm lookin'
 for the man
 who shot
 my paw."

 HOW'S YOUR JOBATTHE
 CALENDAR FACTORY GOING?
 IGOTAREDBECAUSEI
 TOOKACOUPLEOFDAYSoFF.

 When yo dad come back after 18 years
 saying "damn that line at Walmart was
 no joke"
 dope trvp

 WITH UELORO. IT'S A TOTAL
 RIP-OFF.
 CHEERS TO LEGEnDARV
 #DADJOKES

 MYGIRLFRIENDANDIWATCHEDEVERY
 HARRY POTTERMOVIE BACK TO BACK
 LUCKILY I WAS THE ONE
 FACING THE TV

 TO THE GUY WHO INVENTED TERO
 ZERO
 THANKS FOR NOTHING

 AT&T 3G
 9:30 AM
 Dad
 Edit
 Messages
 Gas is 3.69 out
 here ...premium is even
 more
 Enough With the Saab
 story
 Damnit that's goo
 Send

 Ive started working as a
 porn
 writer but its harder than expected
 There just so many holes in the
 plot.

 WHY DID THE COWBOYGOTO
 CHURCH
 HETHOUGHT ITWASASTEAK
 CENTER

 Son
 Dad, are
 you alright?
 No. I'm
 half left.
 Dad lobes Wall of Shame
 howtobeladad.com
 SAD

 Hey Dad can
 I work a
 half-day
 today
 Me working for my dads company
 Half of a day
 is 12 hours
 Sure you can
 but
 *Troll DadBoss*
 problem?

 HOW DOES MOSES MAKE COFFEE?
 Hebrews it.
 quickmeme.com

 What do you
 call the fear
 of being
 trapped in
 a chimney?
 CLAUStrophobia.
 Dad lobes Wall of Shame
 howtobeadad.com

 I KNOWITSCHEESY
 BUT I FEEL GRATE

 LIHowdoylu Lind Will Smithin the snow-
 Look Lhe fresh prints
 Lu LA
 Son I Have A Joke For u
 Tell Me
 I Know You Dont
 I Dont Get It
 forev
 Pussy
 I Dont Get It
 FFUU
 UU U
 memecenter.com
 MameCenuera

 AN ADVIENTURED
 ALPACA MY BAGS

 What veggie do star athletes eat to run fast?
 Accelery
 ada djks

 What's the difference
 between a piano
 a tuna and glue?
 Son: What?
 You can tuna piano,
 but you can't
 piano a tuna
 Son: What about the glue?
 I knew you'd get stuck there.
 Dad lobes Wall of Shame
 howtobeladad.com
 SAD

 JOKEDTOSTATICALLYCHARGED
 8-YEAR-OLD THAT SHELL NEED TO
 BE GROUNDED
 SPENT REST OF EVENING
 EXPLAININGIWASNT
 PUNISHING HER

 Guy Dangerous
 @Lerky
 Son: "Mom, Dad.. I'm gay"
 Mom: *staring at dad
 Dad: ...*clenches fists
 Mom: ...don't!
 Dad: *sweats profusely
 Mom:
 Dad: HI GAY, IM DAD

 MY FIRST TIME USING AN ELEVATOR
 WAS AN UPLIFTING EXPERIENCE
 THE SECOND TIME LET ME DOWN

 Server: Do you want
 a cup or a bowl?
 Dad: That's
 probably a good idea.
 Otherwise it will just
 go all over the table.
 22 WORDS.COM
Dads universally make unfunny jokes and have terrible humor, and I'm just sitting here $100% screaming/crying.

Dads universally make unfunny jokes and have terrible humor, and I'm just sitting here $100% screaming/crying.

San Francisco 49ers, Apple, and Arizona Cardinals: MATT MILLER'S NFL MOCK DRAFT br TENNESSEE TITANS NEW ORLEANS SAINTS MINNESOTA VIKINGS OT 12 MICHAEL THOMAS WR 23 SU'A CRAVENS LB Dl LAREMY TUNSIL OLE MISS OHIO STATE USC CLEVELAND BROWNS PHILADELPHIA EAGLES CINCINNATI BENGALS 02 CARSON WENTZ OB 13 PAXTON LYNCH DB 24 BRAXTON MILLER WR NORTH DAKOTA STATE MEMPHIS OHIO STATE SAN DIEGO CHARGERS OAKLAND RAIDERS PITTSBURGH STEELERS OT 25 ELI APPLE OT 14 TAYLOR DECKER CB D3 RONNIE STANLEY NOTRE DAME OHIO STATE OHIO STATE DALLAS COWBOYS LOS ANGELES RAMS SEATTLE SEAHAWKS 04 MYLES JACK LB 15 LAQUON TREADWELL WR 26 ROBERT NKEMDICHE OT UCLA OLE MISS OLE MISS JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS DETROIT LIONS GREEN BAY PACKERS OS JALEN RAMSEY CB 16 SHELDON RANKINS OT 27 REGGIE RAGLAND LB LOUISVILLE FLORIDA STATE ALABAMA BALTIMORE RAVENS ATLANTA FALCONS KANSAS CITY CHIEFS 06 JOEY BOSA DE 17 JAYLON SMITH LB 28 LEONARD FLOYD EDGE OHIO STATE NOTRE DAME GEORGIA SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS INDIANAPOLIS COLTS NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS D7 JARED GOFF OB 18 EZEKIEL ELLIOTT FORFEITED CALIFORNIA OHIO STATE MIAMI DOLPHINS BUFFALO BILLS ARIZONA CARDINALS 08 VERNON HARGREAVES CB 19 SHAO LAWSON DE 29 KAMALEI CORREA EDGE FLORIDA CLEMSON BOISE STATE TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS NEW YORK JETS CAROLINA PANTHERS DE 20 MACKENSIE ALEXANDER CB 30 KEVIN DODD DE D9 NOAH SPENCE EASTERN KENTUCKY CLEMSON CLEMSON WASHINGTON REDSKINS DENVER BRONCOS NEW YORK GIANTS 10 DEFOREST BUCKNER DE 21 ANDREW BILLINGS OT 31 CODY WHITEHAIR OG OREGON BAYLOR KANSAS STATE HOUSTON TEXANS CHICAGO BEARS ll LB 22 COREY COLEMAN WR DARRON LEE OHIO STATE BAYLOR How'd the Combine shake up our latest Mock Draft? 🏈
San Francisco 49ers, Apple, and Arizona Cardinals: MATT MILLER'S
 NFL MOCK DRAFT br
 TENNESSEE TITANS
 NEW ORLEANS SAINTS
 MINNESOTA VIKINGS
 OT
 12 MICHAEL THOMAS
 WR 23
 SU'A CRAVENS
 LB
 Dl LAREMY TUNSIL
 OLE MISS
 OHIO STATE
 USC
 CLEVELAND BROWNS
 PHILADELPHIA EAGLES
 CINCINNATI BENGALS
 02
 CARSON WENTZ
 OB 13
 PAXTON LYNCH
 DB 24
 BRAXTON MILLER
 WR
 NORTH DAKOTA STATE
 MEMPHIS
 OHIO STATE
 SAN DIEGO CHARGERS
 OAKLAND RAIDERS
 PITTSBURGH STEELERS
 OT 25
 ELI APPLE
 OT
 14 TAYLOR DECKER
 CB
 D3 RONNIE STANLEY
 NOTRE DAME
 OHIO STATE
 OHIO STATE
 DALLAS COWBOYS
 LOS ANGELES RAMS
 SEATTLE SEAHAWKS
 04
 MYLES JACK
 LB
 15
 LAQUON TREADWELL
 WR
 26
 ROBERT NKEMDICHE
 OT
 UCLA
 OLE MISS
 OLE MISS
 JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS
 DETROIT LIONS
 GREEN BAY PACKERS
 OS
 JALEN RAMSEY
 CB
 16
 SHELDON RANKINS
 OT
 27
 REGGIE RAGLAND
 LB
 LOUISVILLE
 FLORIDA STATE
 ALABAMA
 BALTIMORE RAVENS
 ATLANTA FALCONS
 KANSAS CITY CHIEFS
 06
 JOEY BOSA
 DE 17
 JAYLON SMITH
 LB 28 LEONARD FLOYD
 EDGE
 OHIO STATE
 NOTRE DAME
 GEORGIA
 SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS
 INDIANAPOLIS COLTS
 NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS
 D7 JARED GOFF
 OB 18 EZEKIEL ELLIOTT
 FORFEITED
 CALIFORNIA
 OHIO STATE
 MIAMI DOLPHINS
 BUFFALO BILLS
 ARIZONA CARDINALS
 08
 VERNON HARGREAVES
 CB 19
 SHAO LAWSON
 DE
 29
 KAMALEI CORREA
 EDGE
 FLORIDA
 CLEMSON
 BOISE STATE
 TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS
 NEW YORK JETS
 CAROLINA PANTHERS
 DE
 20
 MACKENSIE ALEXANDER
 CB 30
 KEVIN DODD
 DE
 D9 NOAH SPENCE
 EASTERN KENTUCKY
 CLEMSON
 CLEMSON
 WASHINGTON REDSKINS
 DENVER BRONCOS
 NEW YORK GIANTS
 10 DEFOREST BUCKNER
 DE
 21
 ANDREW BILLINGS
 OT
 31 CODY WHITEHAIR
 OG
 OREGON
 BAYLOR
 KANSAS STATE
 HOUSTON TEXANS
 CHICAGO BEARS
 ll
 LB 22
 COREY COLEMAN
 WR
 DARRON LEE
 OHIO STATE
 BAYLOR
How'd the Combine shake up our latest Mock Draft? 🏈

How'd the Combine shake up our latest Mock Draft? 🏈

San Francisco 49ers, A'Shawn Robinson, and Apple: MATT MILLER'S 2016 NFL MOCK DRAFT CHICAGO BEARS TENNESSEE TITANS WASHINGTON REDSKINS AYLON SMITH 21 DE ASHAWN ROBINSON LAREMYTUNSIL 11 LB 01 OT ALABAMA NOTRE DAME OLE MISS HOUSTON TEXANS NEW ORLEANS SAINTS CLEVELAND BROWNS 12 CB VERNON HARGREAVES 22 WR LAQUON TREADWELL OLE MISS CARSON WENTZ 02 QB FLORIDA ND STATE MINNESOTA VIKINGS PHILADELPHIA EAGLES SAN DIEGO CHARGERS JACK ON 23 OT 13 QB 03 CB JALEN RAMSEY MICHIGAN STATE FLORIDA STATE MEMPHIS CINCINNATI BENGALS OAKLAND RAIDERS 24 WR BRAXTON MILLER DALLAS COWBOYS 14 CB ELI APPLE 04 DE JOEY BOSA OHIO STATE PITTSBURGH STEELERS OHIO STATE OHIO STATE 25 OT TAYLOR DECKER LOS ANGELES RAMS JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS MYLES JACK 15 WR MICHAEL THOMAS SEATTLE SEAHAWKS 05 LB OHIO STATE UCLA OHIO STATE A 26 WR COREY COLEMAN BALTIMORE RAVENS DETROIT LIONS BAYLOR 06 OT RONNIE STANLEY 16 DT SHELDON RANKINS GREEN BAY PACKERS 27 DE KEVIN DODD LOUISVILLE NOTRE DAME ATLANTA FALCONS SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS CLEMSON 17 LB JARED GOFF REGGIE RAGLAND 07 QB KANSAS CITY CHIEFS JERALD HAWKINS 28 OT ALABAMA CAL INDIANAPOLIS COLTS MIAMI DOLPHINS LSU SHAO LAWSON ARIZONA CARDINALS 08 CB MACKENSIE ALEXANDER 18 DE 29 DE JONATHAN BULLARD CLEMSON CLEMSON FLORIDA BUFFALO BILLS TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS CAROLINA PANTHERS DARRON LEE 19 LB 09 DE NOAH SPENCE DARIAN THOMPSON 30 FS OHIO STATE EASTERN KENTUCKY BOISE STATE NEW YORK GIANTS NEW YORK JETS DENVER BRONCOS 10 DE DEFOREST BUCKNER EZEKIEL ELLIOTT 31 OG CODY WHITE HAIR 20 RB OREGON OHIO STATE KANSAS STATE bleacher report Our latest mock draft! Which player is your team getting??
San Francisco 49ers, A'Shawn Robinson, and Apple: MATT MILLER'S 2016 NFL MOCK DRAFT
 CHICAGO BEARS
 TENNESSEE TITANS
 WASHINGTON REDSKINS
 AYLON
 SMITH
 21
 DE
 ASHAWN ROBINSON
 LAREMYTUNSIL
 11 LB
 01 OT
 ALABAMA
 NOTRE DAME
 OLE MISS
 HOUSTON TEXANS
 NEW ORLEANS SAINTS
 CLEVELAND BROWNS
 12 CB VERNON HARGREAVES
 22 WR
 LAQUON TREADWELL
 OLE MISS
 CARSON WENTZ
 02 QB
 FLORIDA
 ND STATE
 MINNESOTA VIKINGS
 PHILADELPHIA EAGLES
 SAN DIEGO CHARGERS
 JACK ON
 23 OT
 13 QB
 03 CB
 JALEN RAMSEY
 MICHIGAN STATE
 FLORIDA STATE
 MEMPHIS
 CINCINNATI BENGALS
 OAKLAND RAIDERS
 24 WR
 BRAXTON MILLER
 DALLAS COWBOYS
 14 CB
 ELI APPLE
 04 DE
 JOEY BOSA
 OHIO STATE
 PITTSBURGH STEELERS
 OHIO STATE
 OHIO STATE
 25 OT
 TAYLOR DECKER
 LOS ANGELES RAMS
 JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS
 MYLES JACK
 15 WR
 MICHAEL THOMAS
 SEATTLE SEAHAWKS
 05 LB
 OHIO STATE
 UCLA
 OHIO STATE
 A 26 WR
 COREY COLEMAN
 BALTIMORE RAVENS
 DETROIT LIONS
 BAYLOR
 06 OT
 RONNIE STANLEY
 16 DT
 SHELDON RANKINS
 GREEN BAY PACKERS
 27 DE
 KEVIN DODD
 LOUISVILLE
 NOTRE DAME
 ATLANTA FALCONS
 SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS
 CLEMSON
 17 LB
 JARED GOFF
 REGGIE RAGLAND
 07 QB
 KANSAS CITY CHIEFS
 JERALD HAWKINS
 28 OT
 ALABAMA
 CAL
 INDIANAPOLIS COLTS
 MIAMI DOLPHINS
 LSU
 SHAO LAWSON
 ARIZONA CARDINALS
 08 CB MACKENSIE ALEXANDER
 18 DE
 29 DE JONATHAN BULLARD
 CLEMSON
 CLEMSON
 FLORIDA
 BUFFALO BILLS
 TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS
 CAROLINA PANTHERS
 DARRON LEE
 19 LB
 09 DE
 NOAH SPENCE
 DARIAN THOMPSON
 30 FS
 OHIO STATE
 EASTERN KENTUCKY
 BOISE STATE
 NEW YORK GIANTS
 NEW YORK JETS
 DENVER BRONCOS
 10 DE DEFOREST BUCKNER
 EZEKIEL ELLIOTT
 31 OG
 CODY WHITE HAIR
 20 RB
 OREGON
 OHIO STATE
 KANSAS STATE
 bleacher report
Our latest mock draft! Which player is your team getting??

Our latest mock draft! Which player is your team getting??

San Francisco 49ers, A'Shawn Robinson, and Apple: MATT MILLER S MOCK DRAFT NEW ORLEANS SAINTS SEATTLE SEAHAWKS TENNESSEE TITANS WILL FULLER R. NKEMDICHE 22 WR 01 OT LAREMY TUNSIL 12 DL OLE MISS OLE MISS NOTRE DAME CLEVELAND BROWNS PHILADELPHIA EAGLES GREEN BAY PACKERS 02 DE JOEY BOSA 13 DE SHAQ LAWSON 23 DE JONATHAN ALLEN OHIO STATE CLEMSON ALABAMA KANSAS CITY CHIEFS SAN DIEGO CHARGERS OAKLAND RAIDERS RONNIE STANLEY 14 LB JAYLON SMITH 24 LB REGGIE RAGLAND 03 OT ALABAMA NOTRE DAME NOTRE DAME ST. LOUIS RAMS WASHINGTON REDSKINS DALLAS COWBOYS L. TREADWELL 25 DT 04 QB PAXTON LYNCH 15 KENNY CLARK WR UCLA MEMPHIS OLE MISS DETROIT LIONS JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS HOUSTON TEXANS JACK CONKLIN 26 RB EZEKIEL ELLIOTT 05 CB HARGREAVES III 16 OT MICHIGAN STATE OHIO STATE FLORIDA BALTIMORE RAVENS ATLANTA FALCONS MINNESOTA VIKINGS DARRON LEE 27 WR MICHAEL THOMAS 06 CB M. ALEXANDER 17 LB CLEMSON OHIO STATE OHIO STATE SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS INDIANAPOLIS COLTS CINCINNATI BENGALS 07 QB JARED GOFF 18 CB ELI APPLE 28 SS VONN BELL CALIFORNIA OHIO STATE OHIO STATE MIAMI DOLPHINS BUFFALO BILLS DENVER BRONCOS TAYLOR DECKER 29 OG CODY WHITEHA 08 CB JALEN RAMSEY 19 OT FLORIDA STATE KANSAS STATE OHIO STATE NEW YORK JETS TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS ARIZONA CARDINALS D. BUCKNER 20 OT JERALD HAWKINS 30 DT ASHAWN ROBINSON 09 DL OREGON LSU ALABAMA NEW YORK GIANTS PITTSBURGH STEELERS CAROLINA PANTHERS MYLES JAC K 21 NT ON COLEMAN 10 LB JARRAN FREED 31 OT ALABAMA AUBURN UCLA CHICAGO BEARS NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS STRIPPED OF PICK 11 EDGE LEONARD FLOYD hr GEORGIA NFL Draft season is here. Who is your team taking in the first round?
San Francisco 49ers, A'Shawn Robinson, and Apple: MATT MILLER S MOCK DRAFT
 NEW ORLEANS SAINTS
 SEATTLE SEAHAWKS
 TENNESSEE TITANS
 WILL FULLER
 R. NKEMDICHE 22 WR
 01 OT
 LAREMY TUNSIL
 12 DL
 OLE MISS
 OLE MISS
 NOTRE DAME
 CLEVELAND BROWNS
 PHILADELPHIA EAGLES
 GREEN BAY PACKERS
 02 DE
 JOEY BOSA
 13 DE
 SHAQ LAWSON 23 DE
 JONATHAN ALLEN
 OHIO STATE
 CLEMSON
 ALABAMA
 KANSAS CITY CHIEFS
 SAN DIEGO CHARGERS
 OAKLAND RAIDERS
 RONNIE STANLEY 14 LB
 JAYLON SMITH 24 LB
 REGGIE RAGLAND
 03 OT
 ALABAMA
 NOTRE DAME
 NOTRE DAME
 ST. LOUIS RAMS
 WASHINGTON REDSKINS
 DALLAS COWBOYS
 L. TREADWELL 25 DT
 04 QB
 PAXTON LYNCH 15 KENNY CLARK
 WR
 UCLA
 MEMPHIS
 OLE MISS
 DETROIT LIONS
 JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS
 HOUSTON TEXANS
 JACK CONKLIN 26 RB
 EZEKIEL ELLIOTT
 05 CB
 HARGREAVES III 16 OT
 MICHIGAN STATE
 OHIO STATE
 FLORIDA
 BALTIMORE RAVENS
 ATLANTA FALCONS
 MINNESOTA VIKINGS
 DARRON LEE 27 WR MICHAEL THOMAS
 06 CB
 M. ALEXANDER
 17 LB
 CLEMSON
 OHIO STATE
 OHIO STATE
 SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS
 INDIANAPOLIS COLTS
 CINCINNATI BENGALS
 07 QB
 JARED GOFF 18 CB
 ELI APPLE 28 SS
 VONN BELL
 CALIFORNIA
 OHIO STATE
 OHIO STATE
 MIAMI DOLPHINS
 BUFFALO BILLS
 DENVER BRONCOS
 TAYLOR DECKER 29 OG
 CODY WHITEHA
 08 CB
 JALEN RAMSEY
 19 OT
 FLORIDA STATE
 KANSAS STATE
 OHIO STATE
 NEW YORK JETS
 TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS
 ARIZONA CARDINALS
 D. BUCKNER 20 OT
 JERALD HAWKINS
 30 DT ASHAWN ROBINSON
 09 DL
 OREGON
 LSU
 ALABAMA
 NEW YORK GIANTS
 PITTSBURGH STEELERS
 CAROLINA PANTHERS
 MYLES JAC
 K 21 NT
 ON
 COLEMAN
 10 LB
 JARRAN FREED 31 OT
 ALABAMA
 AUBURN
 UCLA
 CHICAGO BEARS
 NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS
 STRIPPED OF PICK
 11 EDGE
 LEONARD FLOYD
 hr
 GEORGIA
NFL Draft season is here. Who is your team taking in the first round?

NFL Draft season is here. Who is your team taking in the first round?